I think I mentioned that Dev and Pay had a play date that morning into the afternoon in my First Day of School post below. When Denise brought Dev home they chilled as they had a lull while they waited for Haley and since she brought Dev home there was no reason for her to go all the way back to her house.
Denise said that Dev and Pay played so well together all day. They played Lego SW Wii game and then played Legos - they just had a super day. When they got to our house, Dev was asleep in their car. Madi woke him and then he came inside and they all played.
Right before they were leaving Em, Pay and Dev were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. They were playing so well and we said they could play one more game. So, they played. Then, Pay came in the room crying...my heart sank and I knew it was Dev. I had never seen her so upset.
I guess one of the Hippos was stuck and Dev tried to fix but couldn't so Pay tried. He didn't like that because he felt if he couldn't do it then she couldn't. Very 1930s if you ask me. Pay was just trying to help but anyway, it frustrated him so they were hitting back and forth until ::dun dun dun:: he hit her...hard!! I couldn't believe it. He doesn't usually hit his friends. Sisters he's hit on occasion but he knows better so for him to hit Pay was a huge deal. It was a huge line he crossed and I think he knew it. When I looked at him and started with my Mommy Voice he got teary eyed.
I sent him upstairs after apologizing to think about what he did but realizing they were leaving I told him to say "goodbye" and he refused. That's new. When he feels that I've hurt or embarassed him he'll refuse to talk to me. Since he felt I embarassed him he was refusing to say "goodbye" so I apologized for him for not saying goodbye and we walked them out.
When we came back in, he was sitting on the floor by the door crying. He said "I wanted to say goodbye". I told him he was too late. He asked if I could go with him outside but I told him "no, you had your chance. You have to learn to make the right decisions so you don't feel more hurt with regret." Tough lessons for my little guy but he needed to learn empathy and the only way to do that is to feel regret and hurt. He's old enough to realize he shouldn't hit and that when you're wrong the only way to make it right is to own up to it so you can learn from it.
This morning, he picked out Pay's flowers with his dollars (in his words) and brought his card over for her. It was so sweet.
Denise and I both were taking pictures so Dev's looking the other way. Pay was so happy. Dev has all video games (including his Leapster) taken away until after his first soccer game on Saturday. He asked me "after I give Pay her cards then what?" and I had to say "you do the crime you do the time. It's important to say you're sorry because it hurt her and she needed to know that. But Mommy and Daddy have to give you a consequence so you understand fully that it is not okay to hit anyone." He has to learn hands aren't for hitting and that we can use our words to express our feelings. He is taking it well so far...by Saturday morning he'll be driving me nuts asking "can I play yet??"
6 comments:
That's a hard lesson to learn. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
P.S. Bryan got me a docking station for my iphone so I can dance in the kitchen.
Awww.. That was the saddest evening. You forgot to mention that he called her that night and apologized over and over!
She still ♥'s him!
you are GREAT parents for teaching him right from wrong. he will grow up a better man because of it and i have no doubt he will never ever forget this.
on another note, ethan became the picked on little boy at co-op. pushed and toys taken away i don't know how many times. finally after the same boy pushed him three times and then took away his train he was so nicely playing with... ethan picked up a car and chucked it at the kids head. he made a nasty bruise on the little boy. please, advice on how to deal with that?
@nikki: dude, that is so sweet of your hubby. you'll have to get video of that!
@denise: i can't believe he did that. you guys took it well, thanks for that. :)
@andrea: poor ethan!! i can't believe it. that is the saddest thing. did you talk to the momma or was she there? or was it like the 2's are and everyone is just chatting away not paying attention? i hope they realize that this is for the KIDS more than the parents. i hope teacher connie realizes that he is being treated that way...you can't get mad at him for defending himself at 2. and i'm sure he didn't mean to directly hit him so it left a bruise he just wanted to let him know to BACK OFF! good luck, keep me updated. :)
You should bring that boy over so he and my boys can wrestle until the sun comes down.
rach: he totally needs to wrestle with your boys...denise's husband and david both wrestle with that boy which makes him the crazy guy he is! :) you know they're making him a man. hahah!
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